Stepping into a senior leadership role is often labelled a promotion. In practice though, it can feel more like someone has quietly swapped your job description overnight. And forgotten to tell you about it.

You wake up, and you’re still you. Still capable. Still experienced. And yet – the game it seems has changed.

‘Get out of the weeds!’
‘Step back and let us do more!’
‘Be more strategic!’
‘Stop getting sucked in!’
‘Learn to let go!’
You need to delegate more!’

These are the sounds you might well wake up to, the morning after the night it changed.

Sound familiar?

For many leaders, this shift is challenging. And from a coaching perspective, this is a transition I see play out time and again – thoughtful, capable leaders finding themselves in new territory, working out how to lead in a different way.

I call it ‘The Balcony Moment’ and in the years I’ve been practising as a coach, I’ve come to view this as a kind of mandatory experience – a gateway into the senior echelons of leadership.

Expanding Roles and the Myth of Doing Less

Leaders typically start out as good individual contributors. They do well at the role they are initially employed to do, get noticed. As time progresses, they take on more individual responsibility, they hone their craft, build their skills, and become even better. They get noticed a little bit more.

Eventually, some responsibility for ‘people’ might come their way, a bit of line management and they’ll learn more about people development. More exposure to their craft might come along too – bigger picture business insight to add to their growing expertise.

And before they know it, they’ve a chunky job and a higher profile. One that involves a lot of different parts – people management, team development, individual contribution, and bigger picture activities.

It’s a gradual creep for most leaders, and one that becomes apparent over time. They may look back and ask themselves, ‘when did it get so big?’, or ‘how did I end up looking after so much?’. For some it’s enjoyable, and for others less so.

But for all leaders, there comes a point where it’s unsustainable. The doing, the managing, the leading, the strategizing. There simply becomes too much, at too many different levels to keep on top of. One person simply holding too much.

So, what happens then? A dip in performance (‘they’re not as good as they used to be’), disgruntled team members (‘they do everything and won’t let anything go’) or maybe a career flatline (‘they’ve clearly reached their potential’).

All possible, all regular experiences. But rarely desired – by the individual, the people around them or the business.

Letting go seems the only answer. Letting go to take on more, but how do leaders do this when they’ve been successful in ‘doing’ to this point in their career. Surely ‘stopping doing’ seems counterintuitive?

But what if it’s not so much about doing less, as doing things differently?

The Dancefloor and The Balcony

Imagine a dancefloor – packed full of people. You’re right in the thick of it, your favourite tune ringing out.

You’re so engrossed in the music that you don’t notice much about what’s going on around you – the surge near the bar, the spilt drink and the slippery floor around it, the person looking faint near the fire exit.

The dancefloor may be a great place to be, if you want to be engrossed, if you need to be in the midst of the action, if you want to forget about anything else but the music you’re moving to.

But is it the best place to be when you need to see the bigger picture? Unlikely.

Now turn your attention upwards and look towards the balcony where people are also enjoying the music. But notice that from where they’re standing, they can look down and survey the whole landscape. They can see the surge, the drink and the help that’s needed.

This is – to me – the shift that is required when people take the step up into senior leadership. It’s not about doing less, it’s about knowing when to get off the dancefloor, and get onto the balcony.

From Concept to Reality

The balcony can feel a little unfamiliar at first for many people. Sometimes even slightly uncomfortable. And when those ‘favourite song’ moments happen, the pull to step back in is very real. When the pressure is on, or something feels at risk, the instinct to roll your sleeves up and dive back in is completely natural.

In the coaching room, this is often where we start – not with ‘how do you delegate more effectively?’ but with ‘what’s happening for you in that moment when you feel pulled back in?’

Most senior leaders I work with understand the principles of delegation all too well. They know how to allocate work, how to set expectations, and how to create accountability. The challenge is rarely the mechanics, it’s typically what sits underneath. These may be deep held beliefs, firmly rooted habits, or complex underpinning emotions.

I have clients who struggle to take this step away from the ‘doing’ because they feel their whole identity rests on it. They articulate long held beliefs that the ‘doing’ is the reason they have a job, and they are often anxious about making themselves dispensable. I have clients who don’t trust enough to make this shift – clients who are so scared of mistakes being made on ‘their watch’ that they can’t help but jump in when they get the faintest whiff of a potential problem.

Identity, security, trust, fear, control. It’s hard to step off that dancefloor isn’t it. Even if we can see it’s what is needed.

In coaching, our role here is to help surface these underlying concerns, and to make them visible – gently and of course without judgement. In doing this, we can work with our clients to help them to change the form of these beliefs or emotions, and to help them create wider choices in how they respond.

Because this is where the real work is. Not in learning how to delegate – but in understanding what makes it hard to let go.

How to Head for the Balcony

If you’re curious about how to make this shift for yourself, I suggest you start by noticing your own ‘dancefloor and balcony moments’ over the course of a week.

When do you instinctively step in?
When do you hold back?
What’s happening just before you make that choice?
How do you feel after you’ve made that choice?

Remember, this isn’t about judgement, it’s about awareness. Because once you can see any patterns, you’ll have more awareness and control over how you respond.

So, notice, just notice and gather data to begin with. Then begin to see what it tells you. A great trio of questions when you’re ready to reflect could be:

What? Happened
So what? Did it mean
Not what? Do I do with it

These are useful reflective questions, and I offer them to you as they can be applied in many different learning situations.

Redefine Your Value

In addition to noticing and identifying your patterns, it can also help to redefine what ‘value’ looks like in your role. If you’ve built your career on being the person who delivers, fixes, and knows the answer, then stepping back can feel like a loss of usefulness. So, asking yourself ‘what does value look like for me, my boss, the business and my reports mean for me at this level?’ can be powerful. And if you’re unsure ask those people and see what they say. It might be creating clarity where there is ambiguity, asking better questions rather than giving quicker answers, or enabling others to perform at their best. Different work, not lesser work.

Intentional Pause

Another practical shift is to experiment with intentional pauses. The next time you feel the pull to jump in, pause for just a moment longer than feels comfortable. In that space, ask yourself, ‘Is this mine to own, or theirs to grow through?’ You don’t have to get it right every time, but even a small interruption to the habitual pattern can start to loosen it.

Bring the Team with You

Finally, bring your team into the transition. Let them know you are trying to lead differently. Be open about what you are working on and why. This not only builds trust, it also creates permission for them to step up. The balcony is not a place of disconnection – it’s a place of broader connection, where you can see more, not less. Where you can be more useful to people, but in a different way.

Because ultimately, the shift to senior leadership isn’t about disappearing from the dancefloor altogether. It’s about choosing your moments more deliberately. Knowing when your presence adds value – and when your absence creates space for others to grow.

The Balcony Moment: The Leadership Shift No-One Prepares You For

Stepping into a senior leadership role is often labelled a promotion. In practice though, it can feel more like someone has quietly swapped your job description overnight. And forgotten to tell you about it.